Certainty
by oreny19
Summary: What happens when Prim is sick and asks Katniss to sing to her like she used to? How will Katniss react? Can this push Katniss and Peeta back together? Set after "The Hunger Games".


**AN: Hey everyone! Long time no see. It's been almost 2 months since I last posted a story! This is going to be my second Hunger Games story. It's been bouncing around in my head for quite a while now, and I finally got around to writing it! I hope everyone likes it, and please leave me a review of your thoughts. **

**Disclaimer: Suzanne Collins owns everything. I own nothing.**

"**Certainty"**

It's been two weeks.

Two weeks since the end of the Games; two weeks since I came home; two weeks since I've last seen Peeta.

_The end of the Games_. I think to myself with a humourless smile, shaking my head slightly.

The 74th Hunger Games may be over for everyone else, but for me, they'll never really end. A part of me is still there, still in that arena, fighting for my life. Even as I look around myself, at my new home in the Victor's Village, I know I'm in District 12, but I can't help but feel like a part of me will forever be in the Hunger Games.

I try not to sleep because I know that if I succumb to unconsciousness, the nightmares will continue. I am certain that if I lay my head down on the pillows, and close my eyes just for one moment, I will be back in a world of horror, death, and cruelty. But really, how is that much different from reality?

The morbid scenes in my memories from the Games flash through my mind until I can't take it any longer and wake up with a bloodcurdling scream, always waking my mother and Prim.

I try not to sleep, not only for me, but also for them. I hate seeing the pity in Prim's tear-filled eyes as she comes to check on me after I awake from another nightmare; hate to see the helplessness in my mother, as she tries to figure out how she can comfort her first born child.

But even if I don't want to admit it, deep down, I know that the only person who could possibly comfort me is Peeta; the one person who refuses to even look at me.

He was there with me through all the horror. He suffered with me, and survived with me. He's the only one who understands me now.

It seems like I'm always in a daze, so distant from the rest of the world. I rarely see Gale anymore, and I feel terrible about that. We were so close before the Games. But maybe, in time, I'll be able to heal enough so that we can be close again, even though I know I'll always be a little damaged, and I know that things can never be exactly the same as they were.

I try to be there for Prim, to talk to her, ask her about her day, but I know that she can see the change in me, she can see a little of the life in my eyes, extinguished. I know that it's hard on her, that she just wishes her older sister would just come home already, and I try to be strong, I really do, but I just don't have any strength left.

It was on the third week back home that I noticed that Prim had started coughing. I checked her temperature and found that she had a fever. Before the Games, having any type of sickness was very serious and could cause death. But now that we were rich, we just had to order the appropriate medicine from the Capitol, and a fever could be taken care of easily.

I put Prim in bed after my mother gives her the medicine. It did not work instantly of course, so we just had to wait for her to get better.

As I stand in the kitchen, about to get myself something to eat, I hear a noise behind me and turn around to find a tired looking Prim standing there.

"Prim," I started, concerned about her, "you should be in bed. You need to rest so you can get better."

She just looked at me for a little while before saying, "Before, whenever I was sick, you would sing to me to make me feel better." She paused for a moment, "Will you please sing to me now?"

All of a sudden, I was back kneeling on the ground, holding a dying young girl, so much like Prim, in my arms as she asked me to sing, to sing her to "sleep".

I tried to think of another song, any other song, but the only one that kept popping up in my mind was the song, Rue's song.

And so I started to sing.

_Deep in the meadow under the willow_

_A bed of grass a soft green pillow-_

As I sang, tears started to form in my eyes and stream down my face as Rue's death was replaying in my head with such clarity, it seemed as if it had just happened moments before. I can see the horror in Prim's eyes as she realizes the song I'm singing and reaches out a hand to me, saying, "Katniss-" but I cut her off as I continue.

_Lay down your head, and close you sleepy eyes,_

_And when again they open, the sun will rise._

By this point, it's starting to become hard to sing with all the tears coming down my face, and I feel like I can't get air into my lungs, but still, I continue, for some reason, I feel like I have to.

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet, and tomorrow brings them true,_

_Here is the place where I love-_

By this point, I can barely sing and I stutter out the word "you" before I break down into sobs, all the terror and anguish from the Games washing over me all at once, stronger than I'd ever felt it. But there's no cameras here, I don't have to act strong for an audience.

Barely able to see through my tears, I stumble out of the house as Prim's concerned voice calls for me.

Suddenly, I realize that I am standing in front of Peeta's door, knowing that he's the only one who can help me right now.

Not caring that this wasn't my house, not caring that Peeta was mad at me right now, I walk straight into his house, without even knocking, frantically searching for him, as one of his brothers stare at me shocked at seeing me burst into his home.

I soon find Peeta standing next to the fireplace in the living room, which currently has a soft fire dancing in the grates. He turns around quickly at the sound of my hurried footsteps, and looks taken aback to see me standing there, tears still running down face.

"I'm sorry." I choke out, swiftly moving toward him and hugging him to me, burying my face in his chest. "I'm sorry." I repeat, trying futilely to get him to understand how much I regret hurting him.

During the last 3 weeks, I had been thinking about the Games most of my days, but I've also been thinking about Peeta and what I did to him. I had no idea that he what he said was true, that he actually did love me and that it wasn't just pretending for him.

But somehow, I knew this was a lie. Deep down, I know that I knew he wasn't pretending. No one was that good of an actor. I remember wondering how he could be so good at the show, so convincing.

Of course I knew that he wasn't acting! And yet I still led him to believe that I was also in love with him. I knew that I cared for him. We shared a connection that only the two of us in the entire world had. I remember laughing with him in that cave. Genuinely laughing. I rarely laughed at home, but that was the arena, how could I possibly have found anything funny? Peeta. Of course he was the one who made me laugh.

And then there was that kiss. There were many kisses in the cave, but all of them were for the cameras. Well, all except one. The one when I forgot about the audience, the Games and the horror, and was only able to focus on Peeta. The kiss when I actually felt something. Something that seemed bigger than just me, or even me and Peeta.

These thoughts flashed through my mind in a matter of seconds as I hugged Peeta. Suddenly, I felt his body relax and his arms wrap around me in a tight hug.

In that moment, I felt so safe in his arms that all the terrible memories of the Games seemed to disappear and it was just me and him. Everything became clear to me. I wanted to be with Peeta, no, I _needed_ to be with him. He was my dandelion, my shelter from the storm. I could not deny my strong feelings for him and deduced that _this_ was love. It had to be, I couldn't imagine caring for or needing someone more than I did Peeta.

I pulled back slightly. Looking him in the eyes and putting a hand on his cheek, I whispered, "No more pretending. I love you Peeta. And I understand if you don't love me back anymore, I wouldn't either after what I did to you. But I had to tell you, I couldn't have any regr-" I was cut off as Peeta crushed his lips against mine.

At first I was to surprised to respond, widening my eyes in shock. But soon, desire took over as I closed my eyes and kissed back with fervor, knotting my hands in his hair as his slowly ran up and down my back. Again, I felt that hunger that I felt in the cave. I knew that this was right and in that moment, all I could feel was happiness.

All to soon, the kiss had ended and we were both breathing heavily, our foreheads leaning against eachothers. I slowly opened my eyes to see his, intently staring at me.

"I love you too Katniss. Never doubt that." He said fiercely.

And staring into his eyes, I nodded, knowing it was true. Even if it was the only certainty in my life right now, I knew that Peeta would always be there for me. And it was that certainty that kept me from drowning in my miserable thoughts and memories. As long as I was with him, we could get through anything.

**AN: So what did you think? I hope you enjoyed reading the story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please review! ~Oreny19**


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